Good News And Bad News

SO. GOOD NEWS.

I made my 80k word goal!!! WOOOOOO!! I posted that I wanted to reach 80k before I go on vacation on the 25th, and I did! I honestly didn't think I'd make it. I'm pretty pleased with myself.

AND NOW THE BAD NEWS.

I'm...still not done with the draft.

STILL.

NOT.

DONE.

[Um, I had awesome gifs here to demonstrate my frustration. They were awesome. AWESOME, I SAY! But I removed them because I read this post by Roni Loren, and then Leigh Ann's thoughts on it here. And I was too lazy to look for new ones that would be okay to use. Sigh.]

So APPARENTLY I'll be taking Roslyn and Leonel with me to St. Martin tomorrow. These guys just won't leave me alone. But I still love them</3

I'm going to try to pump myself up for my vacation and stop thinking about the fact that I'm STILL DRAFTING.

*twitch*

See you guys next week!

Dropkicking Doubt In The Face

Every writer I know has faced self-doubt at some point. I don't think you can be a writer and not EVER feel any sort of doubt (and if you can, I am infinitely jealous).

Doubt in your story.

Doubt in your writing.

Doubt in your capability to grow.

Doubt that anyone will ever "get" your story.

Doubt that anyone will ever love your story like you do.

Doubt that you'll ever be pulled out of the slush pile.

Doubt that you'll ever get The Call.

Doubt that you'll ever see your book on a shelf.

Doubt that you're cut out for this.

This writing thing? It's hard. It's not an easy dream to follow. It's not a reliable career choice. It's cut-throat and emotional and fierce and unpredictable. You have to be good. You have to be REALLY good. I'm still at the waaaay beginning of this journey, but I know it'll only get crazier from here. (And more awesome, obviously.)

But you know what? Letting self-doubt paralyze you doesn't help. No, it doesn't. Maybe your fears are legitimate, maybe not. Maybe you're better than you think or maybe not. Either way, doubt only halts the process of moving forward. If you start to feel it creeping in, DON'T LISTEN TO IT.

You're stronger than that.

It's one thing to recognize your weaknesses and work hard to improve, but it's another to wallow over them. I'm totally guilty of wallowing from time to time, but I'm trying not to. I'm trying to focus on moving forward, taking it one day at a time, one challenge at a time.

And this is what I'm learning: if you start to notice doubt rearing its ugly head, then freaking dropkick it in the face and keep on keepin' on. Because that's how you succeed. 


Drafting and doubt comes along? DROPKICK IT IN THE FACE and finish the damn draft.
Revising and doubt strolls by? DROPKICK IT IN THE FACE and work your butt off to make your story shine.
Reading a brutally honest critique and doubt pops its head in? DROPKICK IT IN THE FACE and take the advice like a champ, using it to make your story better.
Receiving form rejections and doubt does a jig in your peripheral vision? DROPKICK IT IN THE FACE and send out more queries, dammit.


Basically, violence is the answer when it comes to self-doubt. Works every time. :D

Sprinting

You guys. The whole process of writing this novel has felt like a marathon, but now, NOW, it feels like a sprint.

And my brain hurts.

As I've mentioned, I'm trying to get to 80k (hopefully the end of the draft!) before my vacation on the 25th. I'm currently at 59k. I know this is more than possible for most people, but I'm a slow writer. Sometimes I can write 2,000 words, and sometimes I'm spent after 250. So sustaining a daily word count of 1,000-1,500  words is hard for me, especially because my main writing time is after 11pm and by then I just want to veg out.

NOT AN EXCUSE.

But...it's kind of an excuse for why I just can't sit and think of a good blog post right now. Besides, you know, whining :)

I was going to leave you with a snippet of the WIP to say, "See? I'm writing things!" but I feel like I've been posting a lot of writing lately. So instead I shall leave you with quotes that have to do with RUNNING as related to WRITING! (kind of. sort of. just go with it.)

“Success isn't how far you got, but the distance you traveled from where you started.”


"A race is a work of art that people can look at and be affected in as many ways they’re capable of understanding."


Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there.
--- Will Rogers


"Running is a mental sport...and we're all insane!"


"In running, it doesn't matter whether you come in first, in the middle of the pack, or last. You can say 'I have finished.' There is a lot of satisfaction in that."

Do a little more each day than you think you possibly can.
-Lowell Thomas


Run like hell and get the agony over with.
--Clarence DeMar


My feeling is that any day I am too busy to run is a day that I am too busy.
--John Bryant

Run the race, dear friends! And now that I've had a chance to catch my breath...back to the WIP.

Character Arcs

So, I was writing yesterday, and I realized that my MC had changed. In a good way. She's still Roslyn, but now she knows what she wants and she's going for it no matter what. Some of her views have changed, some of her values, her outlook on her own life. And immediately I thought: She's arching!!

Yes, my darling little MC Roslyn is cresting her character arc. It's like character puberty...or something. I'm so proud!

Which led me to realize that I didn't plan her character arc. I thought I did, but what I actually planned was how her situation changed (plot), not how she as a character changed. Big, big difference. Luckily, Roslyn decided to change as a character all on her own. And I love her for it<3

My favorite characters are those who change in some way. It doesn't have to be monumental. In fact, gradual, subtle changes move me the most. I'm currently reading Delirium by Lauren Oliver, and I LOVE the MC Lena's character arc. She's quite a different person from the beginning to the end of the book, but reading her journey along the way is so, so satisfying. (It also helps that Lauren's prose is DISTURBINGLY pretty.)

When I go through editing, I know I'll want to solidify my character arcs. So I started thinking of what kinds of questions I need to ask.

1. Who is this character at the beginning of the story? What are his/her values? Views? Personality traits?
2. How does this character's past effect who they are? Did any specific events happen to instill certain character traits? WHY are they the way they are?
3. What is his/her goal?
4. What is his/her motivation?
5. Who is this character at the end of the story? How did he/she change?
6. What/who caused the change? Is it believable?
7. Were other characters affected by his/her change? Which characters? How?
8. How does his/her change effect the plot/climax?

This is just a short list, but definitely some things to think about.

What about you guys? Did you plan your character arcs, or let them happen naturally while writing? Are there any questions you ask about your characters before writing, or plan to ask later? Have you read any books lately with great character arcs?

WIP Update

Hi friends!

Is it just me, or is the blogging community kind of quiet lately? I mean, I know I'VE been quiet lately, so maybe it is just me. Or maybe everyone else is going on vacation/busy with summer things too, I don't know.

Anyway.

I have made myself a new deadline for finishing my WIP: Tuesday, July 24th. Why such a random day, you ask? Because I'm going on vacation on the 25th, and I'd really, really like to get the draft done before then. Really. That's assuming the final word count of the first draft will be around 80k. So who knows, but that's the goal. And I'm SO EXCITED to get this thing done with. It's like the neverending draft. And it's tried to murder me more than a few times (it's still making attempts when I'm not looking), so it'd be cool to wrangle it into submission sometime soon. And then I can add a "What I'm Working On" tab to the blog and be all official and stuff, because for some reason I won't allow myself to do that until the draft is complete. Because I'm weird like that.

I've also decided that I'm going to have a totally different approach to my next project. I'm going to...

wait for it...

wait for it...

OUTLINE.

Yes, outline. Serious, hardcore outlining. Because I haven't tried it yet, and I want to see if I work better that way or worse, or if it doesn't make a difference at all. I'm pumped!

But first I need to finish this WIP and stuff.

Do you guys have any goals for your WIPs? What are they? How are they coming along?

Dry Spells and Perfectionism

Hello, lovelies!

Oh man, I've been MIA on the blog for a while, haven't I? I've still been around, commenting and on Twitter and such, but I've just felt kind of dry in the blog department. I think that has to do with the fact that I've been kind of dry in the writing department, too. I was chugging along through the rewrite, and then I got to the part where I got stuck last time...and I got stuck again. And I said to myself: Damn you, Amanda! Why, WHY didn't you outline?! And instead of pushing through and just writing, I stopped.

I didn't realize it at the time, but it was/is a serious case of perfectionism that stopped me. I didn't want to write something that I'd have to delete later or that isn't the best way to tell the story. Since I didn't know what came next, I just didn't write anything in fear that it wouldn't be the right thing. My brain was coming up with a million possibilities and I couldn't decide which one was perfectly right. It felt kind of like this:

Well...that's stupid. I'm not going to lie, I'm still really scared that I'll write a load of crap and have to rewrite everything, but the thing is, I won't KNOW it's a load of crap until I write it and the story is finished.

Part of me thinks that this is what I get for partially pantsing this thing (I pants the middle--worst part for me!), but part of me thinks that even if I had an outline, I'd struggle with this anyway. Perfectionism doesn't discriminate between Pantsers or Planners.

So tell me, dear friends, have you ever had a writing dry spell due to perfectionism? Or any other reason? If you're pantsing a particular part of the story, do you just try to let go of the perfectionism and keep writing no matter what, or do you  have to stop and think things through for a while until you feel more confident moving forward?

Thanks for bearing with me during my dry spell. I really love all of you guys!

Oh, oh. Also. The awesome Steph Sessa introduced me to an AMAZING website. It's a bunch of writers who make 15 minute pod-casts on all different writing topics, and it totally helped to get my writing juices flowing again. It's called Writing Excuses and you can go through the archives and even search by topic in the Tags section. The link is here if you're interested. Thanks, Steph!

Teaser Tuesday! Snippet From My WiP

Um...yeah...I guess this isn't really a "teaser" since I'm an unknown aspiring author with zero people anticipating this novel, but...I needed something that went with Tuesday, okay? Okay. :)

So, I know you're all just DYING for a glimpse of my WiP, right?

*crickets*

Anyway. I've been TERRIBLE with my short stories this year. The plan was to write one short story a month, and I had planned on sharing them with you. Well, I shared my January short story with you, but I ...uh...haven't written once since. Heh. And since my brain won't work right now to come up with an actual post, and I'm in a particularly share-y mood, I'll share a small snippet from New Novel. You'll have absolutely no idea what's going on, of course, and I'm going to be cruel and leave it that way. Muahahaha :D

* * *

Nighttime. Magic. It’s as though a switch is flipped, an ordinary lounge turned magical lair. The daytime is almost too normal, as though the night is only a dream. As though I’ve made this whole life up in my mind. But then the night comes and allures us all, and we’re happy to be in the dream again. I let the customers in. I shiver. I listen to the music. I drink one of James’s concoctions. I watch the customers in their trance, loving loving loving this place as they slowly fade away. This is what normal looks like.

So why is there this gnawing in my chest, aching to break free?

I stand with my arms crossed, my ankles crossed, leaning against the column outside of the lounge. It’s nearly two in the morning—nearly closing time. We aren’t letting any more customers in, but it’s supposed to snow tonight and I want to wait for it. I want to be outside when it does. I remember being little, jumping in huge piles of snow, laughing with Julie as we froze in the icy white stuff but not caring a bit, because it was the most fun we could imagine. I would do that again, now. I would do it if I wouldn’t look like a fool.

I would do it if it didn’t remind me so much of Julie, and the person that I used to be.

The sky is dark, but there’s an almost red tint to it. The air is frigid and smells of snow. I watch the yellow-orange glow of the streetlamps, waiting to see a sign of snowflakes against the light. There’s nothing yet, but it should be soon, and I’m not tired.

Someone walks up to me and stands at my side.

I keep my eyes on the light as I say, “We’re closing.”

“I’m not allowed in, anyway.”

I don’t need to look at him to know it’s Leonel, but I do. His black jacket is fraying at the collar, his neck exposed. I wonder how he isn’t freezing. His guitar is a permanent fixture on his back, like it’s grown right out of him, like it’s part of him. His hands are shoved into the pockets of his jeans, and he stares steadily at the streetlamp as though I’m not even there.

“What are you doing here? Did Papa call you?”

“No. I just finished a gig around the corner and wanted to walk by.”

I stare at him. He stares at the streetlamp. How is it that he stole my perfect moment and now I can’t even look at the streetlamp on my own?

“Why would you do that if we don’t need you tonight?” I say. It comes out a little harsher than necessary, but I don’t apologize.

He parts his lips and exhales, his breath forming a white cloud in the air. He finally looks at me. “No reason. I just felt like going for a walk, I guess.” His eyelashes are so thick they cast a shadow on his face, just under his eyes. I bet when it snows, the flakes catch on them like crazy.

I don’t know what to say, so I look back to the streetlamp. It’s not the same with him here, but we stand there together and wait. I’m waiting for the snow. I’m not sure what he’s waiting for.

Growing As A Writer

I think that sometimes, as writers, we tend to get down on ourselves and our writing. We can always improve, we can always fix something and write faster and try harder. Our prose can be better. Our plots tighter. Our characters more likable. Our premises more interesting.

I'm wracked with doubt every time I sit down to write. Doubt and hope. Doubt and hope. It's an endless cycle.

The other day I pulled out my first novel and read some of it. It's still a first draft, and I still love the premise, and I still think about going back to it one day, but...man, it's messy. And kind of scary. And pretty...bad.

But the funny thing is that I used to think it was awesome. (Ha ha ha!) And even though it sounds like I'm bashing myself, I'm not. This realization made me insanely happy, because I realized that I've grown SO MUCH as a writer since that first novel. All that angsting over the keyboard with the new novel has not been in vain. My writing is stronger than it used to be. (And will get stronger still!)

Not only that, but my first novel took me almost two years to write. Just the first draft. I'd write a page or two and think that was impressive for one day. (And hey, at the time, it totally was for me. We do what we can, and I finished the draft that way.) But now? I usually set a goal of at least 1,000 words a day. I never thought I'd be able to do that.

Somehow, during all that writing, even while I was doubting and getting down on myself, I was growing. And I didn't even realize it.

So today, I'd like to encourage all of you who might be doubting your work or getting down on yourselves. Everything you write--EVERYTHING--is helping you grow as a writer. Even that crap scene that you just cut. Even that piece of dialogue that made you cringe. Even that cliche that your CP nailed you for. It's all worth it and helping in some way.

So tell me, lovely friends: in what ways have you grown since you first started writing? What are you most proud of? For me, it's my word count, and the flow of my writing. It's not as choppy as it used to be. It's not perfect by ANY MEANS, but it's better. Definitely better.

It's Always, Always About The Writing

The writing itself is work. Hard, long work. Stop and go. Stop and go. There is no glamour in sweatpants and headaches and half-filled cups of coffee. No triumph in e-mail and twitter and blog checking. There is no power in procrastination. When the words are not coming, when the inspiration isn't there, when you'd rather be doing anything else.

Desk. Computer. Time slipping by while you bury your head in your hands, thinking this will never work.

Couch. Laptop. Time slipping by while you type, type, type. Read, delete. Type again.

Pen. Paper. Time slipping by while you scribble incoherently, hoping, hoping, hoping that you're getting it right.

The writing itself is work. But the moment your vision is realized on paper, the perfect word to convey the perfect meaning, plot points coming together like magic, the thrill of a character coming to life, getting lost in the world...you remember why it's all worth it. Why the doubt and stress give way to hope. Why the long, hard hours are also the most fulfilling. Writing lives in our souls, pumps through our hearts and flows from our fingers. It gives us something to yearn for and hope for and dream for and strive for.

Sometimes it's so easy to get caught up in The Other Side. I fall victim to this all the time, and honestly, it's silly. I haven't even queried yet--I'm not even close to it!--and I want to throw up when I think of my Dream Agent. I get jealous when I see people getting book deals. Yes, that's The Dream, that's what I'm working toward, that's what we're all working toward, but it all comes back to writing. Unagented, Agented, Published...it's all about the writing. That's what the focus should be on, always. It's where it starts and where it ends and will be there through the whole journey. If there were ever a time to linger, to learn, to explore and discover our style/voice/process, it's now. I'm talking to myself here, but maybe some of you can relate. Sometimes I just want to get the writing over with so I can do the NEXT THING...but even on The Other Side, the writing itself will still be the next thing.

So, I'm challenging myself to stop focusing so much on what happens after I finish New Novel and save that energy for writing it. To revel in the process, sweatpants, headaches, procrastination and all.

Guys, I'm excited. Writing is awesome.

A Tough Decision

Current Mood: Angst

Current Music: The War Inside by Switchfoot

You know how sometimes you know something's not right, but you try to ignore it in hopes that it will go away? But it doesn't go away? And it kind of just gnaws at you slowly, until one day you're just a pile of ravaged flesh?

No?

That's...kind of how I feel. Maybe not that intense, I don't know.

Let me say this: I love my WiP intensely. Ridiculously. I have 48k and even though it's the hardest thing I've ever written and I don't know what I'm doing, I'm completely in love with it and I BELIEVE in it. So, so much.

Except. What I have on paper isn't my WiP. It's ragged shadow of my WiP. It's an ugly, writhing ghost of my WiP. It's an impostor. And I know, I KNOW that drafts are supposed to be like that. My first novel was like that. But this is not only ugly, it's totally, completely, utterly wrong. After angsting over it for weeks and weeks, trying to fill the plot holes, having major character revelations, realizing that wow this entire thing needs to be changed, I'm...starting over.

Yes, I know I could have tried to finish and then go back to rewrite, but honestly, I don't want to do that. I know that I'll finish this, so it's not a matter of pushing through just so I can finish the draft. The draft WILL get done, but it's a matter of what kind of draft I want to have. Do I WANT a draft that's so far from my story that I'll have to rewrite the entire thing at least once, probably more? Not really. And aren't I kind of already doing that, since I've already written 48k? I need a draft that resembles the story in my head, especially with all the recent changes. I can't continue the way I am if I want that.

Yes, I think I'll be able to salvage some of that 48k, but for the most part, my timeline is out the window. I'll need to make a new one and accept the fact that no, this probably won't be done by the beginning of Summer anymore.

But it will be better. I'll be happier. And one day the book in my head will all be written down and I'll get to love love love it as actual words, not just a vision. That's what I'm looking forward to, and that's what's keeping me going.

To Wait Or Not To Wait?

This past week I hardly got any writing done. I've had huge plot holes in New Novel for a while now, and I spent the week brainstorming and percolating on things.

I still don't have concrete answers to my plot holes. But I did discover something equally important.

Voice.

My WiP is in two POVs. One POV I pretty much have down, as far as voice goes, but the girl protagonist has been harder to nail. I'm about 40k into the story now, and she still seems kind of flat. It's been frustrating, but I figured I'd come to understand her eventually. And apparently, eventually is now.

All of my brainstorming helped me to understand my girl protag in a way that I hadn't before, and now I'm super excited to start writing in her voice. Except...I realize that everything I've written so far will need to be re-written. I know this is all part of the process, and I'm all for anything that will make the story better.

But now the question is: Do I rewrite the beginning now, or wait until I finish?

Now, hear me out, guys! I know almost all of you will say that I should finish the draft first, and then go back and fix whatever needs to be fixed. I completely agree with that, and would probably do that under normal circumstances. Except, like I've said, I have huge plot holes, so I'm kind of stuck at the moment. I'm wondering if writing the from the beginning in my girl protag's newly found voice might help me to get unstuck. It'll definitely push back my goal date of finishing, though.

Hmm, decisions, decisions.

So, let me ask you--do you usually edit as you go, or wait until the end? If it's something big--like a whole beginning that needs to be fixed--would you fix it immediately or still wait?

The Blob

You know The Blob?

It's basically a formless...um, blob...that just eats and destroys things. Have you even seen the movie? It's kind of hilariously bad, and the whole premise is just, well...Giant, oozing Blob terrorizes small town!

But anyway.

There's a point in my drafting process when I realize my darling WiP is The Blob.

Around 30,000 words or so, I'm far enough in where subplots are happening and I'm trying to keep things interesting and usually, I'm still trying to figure out what's going on. So I throw stuff in there to see what happens. Or I jump around and write scenes out of order. Or I have a completely new idea for a plot twist and I start writing in that direction.

Right now, my draft is not a cohesive story. It's bits and pieces hemmed together and broken apart. It's messy, formless, and growing.

My draft is the FREAKING BLOB.

And you know what? That's okay. It might be a huge glob of mush that sometimes terrorizes my brain, but eventually it will start to take shape. Even now, when it moves just right, I can almost see what it will look like later on. It makes me love it even though it's hideous right now, and makes me feed it even though sometimes I just want to spray it with a fire extinguisher and freeze it (uh, movie reference).

But it's those sparkling moments of glory when you can see what your draft is supposed to be that make you keep going, keep pushing through the Ugly. One day it will be a shiny, gorgeous piece of art, and you'll love it even more knowing that you made it pretty when it used to look like this:

My first WiP pretty much had a cohesive plot the entire way through. It needed a lot of restructuring, but it was still a story with a beginning, middle, and end. But this draft? Not so much. Funny how different books can have such drastically different processes.

So somebody, for the love of all that is pink and glittery, tell me that your drafts are like The Blob sometimes, too? Am I the only one who's writing a crap-tastic first draft?

That Other Moment...

That other moment when you realize your draft doesn't have the atmosphere you wanted, and you also don't know how to get from Point A to Point B, and your brain feels like this:

And like this:

...yeah, those moments aren't fun.

Funny that I'm in a funk a few days after having such a great high.

*sigh*

Anyway, I won't allow myself to wallow for long. I'm either going to A) Come up with a solution, or B) Barrel through until I'm unstuck. I really hope option A happens, but either way, this funk is going DOWN. Actually, I'm not going to think of it as a funk. Nope, it's just an obstacle that I need to overcome. A problem that I need to find a solution to. I'm going to figure this thing out, one way or the other. And, um, I hope it's soon :)

It's all in the attitude, people. All in the attitude. (I'll just keep repeating that to myself...)

On a totally unrelated note, I bought a GORGEOUS new notebook that I don't even want to call a notebook because it's so pretty--actually, maybe it's a "journal"--and it's just begging me to fill it! It's as thick as a book, which makes me want to write an entire draft in it.

Yeah, an entire draft. Longhand. In a journal.

I'm not ready to do it yet, though, what with New Novel still unfinished. But maybe my next draft. Would that be...crazy?

That Moment...

That moment when you write a scene or a page or a piece of dialogue, and suddenly, unexpectedly, it's just so, so perfect and exactly what you didn't know you wanted, and you literally shed a tear because your characters did something seemingly on their own and it's like magic.

That's why I write.

This actually happened yesterday. I was having trouble getting started (which is always the hardest part for me), and when I finally mustered the motivation I only wrote 281 words, because that ended the scene I had started the day before. Only 281 words, but really...wow.

I'm not saying that I'm the best writer in the world, but I was just waiting for this thing to happen between these two characters, and suddenly in those 281 words IT HAPPENED. And I was just like OMG I did not see that coming at this point but I LOVE IT SO MUCH!

Yay for writer's highs!
(Um, except I'm not in a pant suit. Make that sweatpants.)

And that made me realize that when characters come to life and things come together, that's my favorite part of writing. I'll admit that it's rare for me, which is why I had a mini tear-filled freak-out when it happened yesterday. I actually couldn't write for awhile afterward because I was too excited about those 281 words (Heh. Me = Crazy), and when I did start writing again I was in a funk because I didn't plan my next scene and was just winging it. I'm starting to realize that there are endless highs and lows when writing a novel.

But the highs are so worth it.

MaRcH MaDnEsS!

Happy MARCH! Can you believe it's March already? This year is flying by and I'm trying desperately to keep up with my writing goals. I did end up making my February New Novel word count goal, which I'm quite pleased about, but only started a short story so I'll have to finish that this week. But I do have plans for this month. Writing goal plans. Plans that I shall call:

MaRcH MaDnEsS!


I've been talking about MaRcH MaDnEsS (can't type that out without the alternating caps) with a friend of mine who is joining me. Basically, I'm giving myself a crazy (well...not SO crazy) goal for the month...hence the MaDnEsS! The goal is to really push myself and what I think I can do, and add a nice chunk of word count to the New Novel. But it is NOT meant to make me feel like a failure if it ends up being too much for me. My minimum goal is to write 15,000 words this month, just like my past monthly goals, but I'm going to strive for my MaRcH MaDnEsS goal really, really hard.

Here's a little list I made for myself, which I'll be filling in every weekday (and possibly adding some lines for weekends if I feel like doing more or if I need to catch up from the week):

It's going to be awesome, guys! I'm really excited for a productive month, even though it's going to be super hard sometimes.

Is anyone with me?

Let the MaRcH MaDnEsS begin!

What's Next?

First, I just want to mention the new blog look so you all don't think you're going crazy :) It's a significant change from the last look, but I like it much better. It's more "me".

So, now that I'm making some nice headway in the New Novel, I'm thinking about what I want to write after it's finished. It's a standalone, so there are no sequels I need to worry about. But that does give me a new kind of worry: what will I write next? I have tiny, baby snippets of ideas that could be cool if I take the time to flesh them out. I know one idea, another standalone, I'll probably visit some time in the future for sure. But lately I've been thinking about my first novel. The one I set down a few months ago to start working on the New Novel.

The problem is that it needs SO. MUCH. WORK. And I know that since I've already written the draft it should be "easy" to fix it up, but it basically needs to be completely rewritten. And there's a world within it that I didn't really explore in the first draft that I think I'll need to flesh out. I'll need to dig deep into a lot of things I just skimmed the surface on in the draft and...honestly...it's intimidating. Can I pull it off the way I think it needs to be done? Can I do it justice?

The more I think about it, the more I want to start working on it again. When I stopped working on it to let it "sit", I honestly wasn't sure if I'd ever go back to it or not. I thought that maybe it was just meant to teach me how to write a book, to show me that I could, but not meant to actually *be* a book. Well, the way it looks now, it should never, ever be a book. But it could be if I worked on it. Um, A LOT.

Have you ever felt intimidated by your own ideas? If so, did you write them anyway, or let them "stew" for a while, or move onto something else? How do you decide what you want to work on next? Luckily, I still have a few months before I even finish New Novel, so I have time to think about it :)

Personality Types

Have you guys ever heard of the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator assessment? I'm sure you have. I hadn't, though, until last year. For those of you who haven't, it's basically a personality test. A really, really in-depth one. The actual test is insanely long, but there's a shorter version you can take online if you click here. My results the first few times I took it were INFP, and sometimes INFJ. I re-take it once in a while just to see if it changes, but it's always one or the other. The letters in INFP stand for I (Introversion) N (Intuition) F (Feeling) P (Perception). The opposite of that would be ESTJ: E (Extroversion) S (Sensing) T (Thinking) J (Judging). There are a total of 16 combinations, each complex personalities.

I first heard about it from a writer. I think I was reading a blog or something, and the person mentioned that to get to know their characters, they took the Myers-Briggs test as if they were that character. Then, with the results, they were able to better understand the character's personality. I was intrigued, so I took the test myself. I have to say that I'm usually skeptical about stuff like this. I pretty much roll my eyes at horoscopes or those stupid quizzes you can take online that say "Find Your Relationship Style!". But this is not a horoscope or a stupid quiz. I was seriously BLOWN away by the accuracy of this test. Like, I spent HOURS pouring over the information. I had revelations about myself after reading up on my personality type. Really, I was astounded. I took the test again as if I were my husband, and then when he got home, I forced him to take it himself. I was very close to getting his right and was quite smug about it :)

Basically, I LOVE the Myers-Briggs test. I have so much fun reading what it says about my personality type, but I haven't tried it yet for my characters. It sounds like a good idea but I feel like I get to know my characters just by writing them. Maybe I'll try it out, though.

If you've never taken the test, I highly recommend it. After you take it, definitely go through the links to read up on your personality type and see if it describes you! It's SO much fun (at least to me)! If you have taken the test, what's your personality type? Have you ever tried something like this to get to know your characters?

When It Gets Hard

Writing isn't always a cake walk. Sometimes the words are slow to come. Sometimes you're easily distracted, and you're doing more Twitter-checking than writing. Sometimes you have no idea what's going to happen next, and you watch the cursor blink, blink, blink while your mind goes blank. Sometimes you see the scene in your head, and it's perfect, but you're having trouble translating it to paper.

There's an endless arsenal of things against you when you write. That's why it's hard. That's why not everybody does it. That's why even less people finish, and even less than that get published. But we WANT it, don't we? So we find ways to push through the hard parts.

I'm not a serious plotter--at least for this WIP--so my hard parts tend to be the "What the heck happens next?" kind. I know the ending, though. That's something that I MUST know before I even begin. Maybe not the exact details, but a general sense of how things turn out. I also know a few scenes that happen throughout the story. Again, nothing specific, but they are points that I know I'll get to eventually. Before I get to those points, though, is where I have the trouble. So what I've started doing is having brainstorming sessions before I even sit down to write.

Basically, I play my WIP playlist, lay on the floor or couch with a notebook and pen, and THINK. Clearly, it's a very scientific process. I plan out the next scene, writing a small summary of it in my notebook, and then I write it. Then I plan the scene after that, and then I write it. I do this until I get to one of my pre-planned "points". And then I do it again. I have to admit, it's a little stressful not knowing what's going to happen next, but I've tried plotting before, and I always, ALWAYS stray from it. Characters evolve or things pop up that I didn't expect. So even though this way seems harder to me, I kind of like it better.

Now it's your turn :) What's the hardest part of writing for you, and what do you do to push through it?

Writing Out of Order

This New Novel I'm working on is still a little fuzzy. I know the major plot points and characters, I know specific scenes that I want to write, and I know the mood and tone I want to portray. But, between all that, I don't know. I don't exactly have an "outline" for this novel, but I do try to brainstorm before writing so I have at least some idea of what's going to happen.

The first novel I wrote, the one that's taking a seat while I work on this novel, was written from beginning to end in that order. I didn't jump around and write later scenes first and earlier scenes last. I just wrote the whole thing in order until it was done. I wrote even when I had no clue what was happening next. I made myself an outline when I got tired of not knowing, and then stuck to the outline for the most part. The end result was messy, but it was a complete rough draft, at least.

Writing this New Novel is different for a lot of reasons, but one of them is that I'm writing it out of order. I wrote the first chapter, and then I started the second chapter and got stuck. I had an idea for how I wanted the chapter to go, but I wasn't sure if that was really how I would want it in the end. The writing was slow. The words would not come. So, instead of forcing myself to write that chapter, I skipped ahead to a chapter/scene I knew needed to be in there and the words flew from my fingers. Funny how that happens, isn't it?

After that experience, I'm convinced that a book does not need to be written in order. I'm not sure why I thought I had to write in order with my first novel, but I am officially converted to out-of-order writing, at least for this book. I'm sure it will be a pain to string it all together in order when I'm done, but the point is that I will have scenes I'm confident in, and not scenes I'm forcing myself to write. I plan on writing the scenes that speak to me first, the scenes that I already have in mind, and the scenes that I know will be important for the book. I will have a skeleton of scenes, but then I can fill in the rest with a better idea of where things are going.

This is weird and new for me, but I'm very excited about it. What about you guys? Do you usually write in order, or do you ever skip ahead and write later scenes first?

Cookies! And New Novel Fun!

Happy Monday! I'm kind of in shock that Christmas is only a few days away. I feel like I haven't had enough cheer yet this season. I mean, this weekend I TRIED to have some Christmas cheer. I blasted Christmas music and baked for hours and hours. It started out quite fun and festive. I was in the Zone. But after the third batch of cookies, I was tired. I mean...really tired. I'd been standing for a few hours already (those of you who are wondering why only three batches of cookies took a few hours, the answer is RAINBOW COOKIES), and the happy holiday music was starting to irritate me. It was becoming ironic, because I was no longer in the Christmas Spirit. But I still had like three more batches of cookies to go, so I put on my New Novel playlist to brainstorm while I baked. So, that was fun, but unfortunately the Christmas cheer didn't last too long. This week though, I will be SURE to get my cheer on. Santa mug, I'm looking at you.

And because I want to show off, here are two of the cookies that I made. White Chocolate Raspberry Bars and Rainbow Cookies. Compliments are welcome.

My husband loves rainbow cookies. They are kind of a pain to make because it is a long process, but the outcome is lovely, isn't it? He always raves about them and it makes me quite big-headed. BUT. Yesterday he tried one of the white chocolate raspberry bars, a new recipe that a co-worker gave me, and he proclaimed something that I never saw coming. He said that he liked them BETTER than the rainbow cookies. Um...what!? I SLAVED over those rainbow cookies, and the raspberry bars were the easiest thing I made! I used a Pillsbury sugar cookie roll for crying out loud! But...I have to agree. I'm not a huge fan of rainbow cookies anyway, but let me tell you, those raspberry bars are DIVINE. So in the spirit of giving, which is part of holiday cheer, I give you the recipe:

White Chocolate Raspberry Bars
Ingredients: 1 roll Pillsbury sugar cookies, seedless raspberry preserves, chopped walnuts, white chocolate chips
Preheat oven to 350. Spread the cookie dough onto cookie sheet using fingertips, so it covers the whole cookie sheet. Bake for about 20 minutes, or until the edges are slightly browned and when you stick a toothpick in the center it comes out clean. Let cool for a few minutes. Spread the raspberry preserves over the cookie. Sprinkle with nuts. Melt the white chocolate (I simmer some water in a sauce pan and put a bowl over it with the chocolate in it). Dip a spoon in the chocolate and drizzle over the cookie. Let cool, then cut the cookie into bars.

As far as writing goes (lovely segue, don't you think?), I'm still plotting and brainstorming and getting to know the characters in New Novel. It's really interesting, this being the second novel I'm writing, to go through the beginning process again. It feels much different than the first time around. I mean, I still don't know exactly what I'm doing, but I feel more prepared. More confident. I'm not wondering if this will ever actually get finished, because I know it will. So I'm really enjoying this brainstorming process. I want to have a good enough idea of the story by the end of the year, so that come January I can start writing. Eeek! So excited. One difference I've really noticed is that when I first started plotting/writing my first novel, it was very plot-driven. I put the story before the characters, and so the whole time it was frustrating when I couldn't figure out who my characters were. This time, though, the characters came first. Well actually, the setting came first, and then the characters. Then because of who the characters are and what their situation is, the plot flowed from that. So again, very different, but in a very exciting kind of way.

How is everyone's writing going? Anyone else having a baking extravaganza? Make the raspberry bars!!