Hi, My Name Is Amanda, And I Am A Serious Procrastinator

Dudes. The end of February is next week and I still haven't started a short story for the month! Someone yell at me and make me do this, please. I also have 6,000 more words to write in order to reach 30k on the New Novel by the end of the month.

Hi, my name is Amanda, and I am a serious procrastinator.

I've always been like this. ALWAYS. In high school I would be so late handing assignments in that one time I crumpled the assignment up, and when I handed it to my teacher I said, "I just found this at the bottom of my locker!" Like, OMG, it must have just slipped out of my binder two weeks ago and gotten crushed at the bottom of the locker so obviously I did it on time and it's not my fault that it's late!! Yeah, ridiculous excuse. And yes, she believed me and I didn't get any points deducted. *hangs head in shame* But I DID end up telling her the following year, when she was no longer my teacher :)

I really don't remember a time that I didn't wait for the last minute to get something done. Except when I was planning my wedding, but that's a different story! It's funny that I'm a procrastinator, actually, since I'm so in love with lists and organization. I'm noticing that with writing, though, procrastination is a beast I really need to tame. My word count goals are great, but if I slack off until the end of the month, then I get totally burned out after a hectic week of playing catch-up. I'd much rather stay steady throughout the whole month.

How do I make myself do this?!

I think it's just a force of will and FOCUS. I have a cray-zay goal for myself for next month. It's probably not crazy to most people, but as I am a sloooww writer, it's pretty crazy for me. I'm hoping that the big goal will be motivation enough for me to stop listening to highly addictive songs that are impossible to write to, because these songs have been a major source of procrastination the past few days. Actually, it's just one song. A song you might have heard or seen people talk about online recently.

THIS SONG:

HEY, I JUST MET YOU! AND THIS IS CRAZY!

This song has kept me in a constant state of Hyper for the past two days, which includes but is not limited to: watching this video over and over and over, etc., dancing around like a psycho, and bouncing in my desk chair. The Husband has told me to "Stop singing that song." But I cannot!

At least this form of procrastination is fun and not evil.

Anyway, I better stop listening to it because I have words to write and not a lot of time to write them. Stupid procrastination. I apologize if any of you become addicted to the song...but not really because it's awesome.

BEFORE YOU CAME INTO MY LIFE I MISSED YOU SO BAD! I MISSED YOU SO BAD! I MISSED YOU SO, SO BAD!

Catching Up

Last week I got behind on my word count. WAY behind. It was one of those, "I'll catch up tomorrow" kind of weeks, until it was Friday and I realized "tomorrow" already came and went four times. Ah yes, the joys of procrastination. I tried to catch up over the weekend but I'm still 2000 words behind. That's not too bad, as long as I'm on top of it this week. WHICH I WILL BE.

That's right. I'm posting it here and now for all to see. This week, I am going to write 5,750 words. It WILL get done. If not, there will be serious consequences. Hmm, consequences, consequences...NO! Consequences aren't even an option, because it's getting done. See? All about the mindset :)

But I will have a reward for reaching my goal: I'm going to visit the place that inspired New Novel this weekend. I'm SUPER excited!! It's in Manhattan, and I've only been there once, and that one time I was so inspired by the place that I whipped out my notebook and started taking notes. It'll be fun to go back now that I have a whole story in my head. And no, I'm not going to reveal what it is. I know, I'm so lame! But I do write better when I'm being all secretive and I feel like I'm "alone" with the story.

So really, I can't NOT reach my goal, because I already have a reward planned, and that would just be cheating.

Do you guys set word count goals? What are your weekly or monthly goals? How do you stay on track and beat procrastination?

Procrastination Slash The Evils of the Internet

You sit down to write. You're armed with water, a hot beverage and a snack. You open your word processor and skim the last few paragraphs you wrote the day before. You're ready to go.

You start typing. Clackity clackity clack. Happy writing! Yay! Things are going well.

And then, something happens. Something not unusual. You type a word, read the sentence back, and realize that you need a synonym. That word just doesn't work. Suddenly, there is a voice. An icy, ragged voice in the back of your mind, and it whispers "Use meeee."

You give it no thought. You're a writer, after all. You hear voices frequently. Now back to this word that does not work. You need a synonym, so naturally, you need a thesaurus. You minimize your word processor and open up your web browser, finding your favorite online thesaurus.

But wait! You see something in one of your tabs...is that a new email? Abruptly, the cold voice is back. "Use meeee," it pleads. "I've brought you a gift! Look in your inbox."

Enticed, you click on your Email tab...and behold! TWO new emails! And oh! One of them is from your critique partner, the other is from Twitter, informing you that someone replied to one of your Tweets. These ARE gifts!  You open the email from your critique partner, relishing every word they write about your MS. You must reply to this email at once to ask their opinion on problem number 2 in MS, and also discuss what they pointed out, and also find out what they think about the heroine doing that thing in chapter 9. And so you do. You send the email out, feeling satisfied.

"Use meeee."

What? Oh. That voice is back again.

"You've forgotten your other giffftt!" it rasps.

Oh, right. Twitter! You click on the person's reply. Hahah, oh, this person is so funny! Hm, you wonder, what is everyone else up to on Twitter?

"Go look!" the voice urges.

Yes. Yes, you think you WILL go look. Besides, you should probably reply to your reply, anyway. You scroll through the Timeline, reading everyone's tweets, and reply to your reply, spending a little too much time trying to think of something witty and funny to say.

"Look! Look over there!" The voice says. You think you hear a gritty, low laugh, too, but you aren't quite certain.

What does the voice want you to look at? Oh! Someone just posted a new blog post! This person writes quality blog posts. You click on the link and read gleefully. You notice in their "Labels" section that they have a label for Writing. Well, hey! YOU'RE interesting in writing.

"Check it out!" the voice says.

You think this is an excellent idea. The blogger probably has some sterling things to say about writing, which will help you with your OWN writing. Wow, there are so many posts on writing! How wonderful. You read and read and read, so thoroughly entertained and enlightened.

"Muahahahahahha."

What? What was that? Was that you, Voice? Suddenly, you realize that HOURS have past. You're supposed to make dinner and get ready for that thing tonight and clean the kitchen and OH MY GOSH your writing time is gone?! Noooooooooo!!

"Wait! I brought you another present!" The voice says.

Absolutely not! Who is this voice, anyway? "It's all your fault, Voice! This is ALL YOUR FAULT. Who are you? Show yourself like a man!"

The voice laughs darkly. "You know who I am. I bring you emails and Tweets. I give you information and entertainment and endless possibilities!"

You gasp, realizing how stupid you've been. "Internet," you say breathlessly. "You've been enticing me this whole time when all I really wanted was to find a synonym!"

The Internet clicks its tongue at you. "You silly, silly writer. Don't you know that you have the POWER to deny me? But alas, I have won."

You fume, your mouth becoming smaller and smaller as you realize the Internet is RIGHT. "Darn you, Internet!" you cry.

The Internet does not yell back, for he is content. "Until next time," he says.

And you close your web browser, your word processor, and your computer down, defeated. THIS time.