I Am A Writer

I am an amateur writer. I make mistakes. I spell words wrong and use bad grammar (poor grammar?). My sentence structure can be improved upon. My word choices should be reconsidered. My voice, my plot, my characters...they all need work.

I am a slow writer. I take my time. I procrastinate. I avoid, daydream, and get distracted. I delete, rewrite, and delete again.

I am a fearful writer. I'm afraid that the story in my head won't translate to paper the way I imagine it. I'm afraid that nobody will like what I write. I'm afraid that I won't get better. I'm afraid that I'll fail my story and myself.

I am an insecure writer. I read what I've written and gag. Delete, delete, delete. I read my favorite books and think, I'll never be that good.

I am a wandering writer. I wander into life and excuses and daydreams. I wander into other people's books for a while. I wander into new ideas and neglect my main project. I wander through my main project--aimlessly.

I could go on. And on. And on.

But I am also this:

I am a determined writer. I see my weaknesses and am prepared to overcome them. It will be hard. It will be work. But it's worth it to me.

I am a steady writer. I may not write quickly, but I write enough. I set realistic goals for myself and I do them. I finished my draft this way, and I'll finish my revisions this way.

I am a conquering writer. I am aware of my fears and insecurities, but I don't let them stop me. Sometimes they delay me. Sometimes they grieve me. But they don't defeat me.

I am a loyal writer. I don't always write every day. But my writing is constantly on my mind, popping up at odd times and even times and all times. Sometimes I wander, but I always, always come back.

So I've come to accept this: I am a writer.

I may be an amateur, slow, fearful, insecure, and wandering. I may be determined, steady, conquering, and loyal. But I also write. And that makes me a writer. No adjective needed.